the things i would tell her

I hope you believe me when I say, the heaviness dissolves a little - after a while.

The breaths you inhale will feel a little less painful, and the ones you exhale will finally feel like relief again.

Although there will be pointy edged days, they will be far less.

Time will be different, feel different, hold a different sense of urgency and importance.

You will be aware of not wasting it in rooms and with people that are not your people and are not your rooms.

You will laugh and you will mean it. It will come from the inside of your body and it will leave your skin tingly.

You will mean it because you know true loss, and that has allowed you the gift of experiencing true joy.
You will have space for thoughts that don’t relate to your hurting and when the hurting thoughts arise, as they surely will - you will meet them with love and let them go.

You will create really beautiful things. You will create them and it will feel like freedom.

You will spend more time alone, and that will help you become clear on who you want to spend the time you aren’t alone with.

You will speak much more honestly about the way things make you feel, and when you feel silenced you will speak even more loudly.

You will allow your intuition to influence your decision making and it will feel powerful.

You will be better at listening, and it will reflect the gratitude you have for the people who poured everything they had into listening to you when you needed to be heard.

You will see the true potential of your relationships and friendships, and that will realign your investment.

You will love your body more, and move it more because you love it more. You will speak more kindly to it, because you know the privilege of waking up and calling it your home.

You will wear a bikini without the fear of perfection, run without the fear of judgement, swim in the ocean even on the days you hadn’t planned to wash your hair and you will do it over and over again.

You will understand the privilege of living so differently. 

You will have a new, honestly human way of connecting with a community of people you have never met - they will hear your words and experiences and they will feel seen and validated in the unexplainable change they are faced with accepting.

You will care far less about fitting a mould you once obsessed over, and you will apologise far less for things you haven’t done wrong.

You will gain the ability to enjoy feeling peaceful - you will search less for unnecessary challenges and you will learn to accept the ending of necessary things.

You will, however, make more space for the taking of risks in order to expand and evolve.

You will ruthlessly choose yourself over the comfort of what you have always known.

You will balance the peace and the risk to align with a life you love living everyday, not just some days.

You will build that life with your bare hands and you will actively practice gratitude for it.

You will look back at the version of yourself that needed the woman you are now, and you will appreciate the resilience it took to become her.

I hope you believe me when I say, although none of these things will fill the lonely space of loving grief you have in the core of you; there is so much life on the other side of the right here right now.